I’m Done!
To those who have read a few of my previous posts from the past year, you are probably more than well aware of the stress and drama that has been occurring in my life. Between, bills, life, family and the unexpected, I found myself at a level of physical un-wellness far beyond that which I had experienced before. Instead of worrying about taking better care of myself, I found myself constantly worrying about everyone else in my life, which made an already bad situation so much worse. But instead of remedying the situation, I found myself stuck in what felt like a spiral that I could not escape.
It wasn’t till almost the end of the year when I finally made myself take a different look at the situation. Here I found myself putting my neck out not once, or twice, but MULTIPLE times for someone who was not ready to grow up and take control of their own life! While I still love my step-daughter very much, I’ve had much time to think and can’t help but feel that I have been played. My own caring nature used against me. This feeling has just fueled my anger, and many a time I have found myself telling my husband, “She needs to grow up!” At 18, she thinks she’s an adult, but her words and actions come across as that of a child.
The last time she was down for a visit, we debunked all the lies that her mom has been telling her all along, yet for some reason she doesn’t want to see the truth that lies right in front of her. Her sisters B-day was the week before Christmas and mom conveniently lied to the kids and told them she called, but no one answered. That just irritated me all the more. Pushing me even further to the point of wanting to wipe my hands clean of the whole situation because no matter how much my step-daughter bitches about the situation she’s in and how much her mom sucks, she won’t pull the trigger and make the change that will result in a better life for herself.
Her dad and I have offered her the olive branch of sorts countless times. We spent a large sum of money on furniture so we could give her a place to sleep when she came to visit, and now I can’t help but feel that the purchase was nothing more than a waste! Part of me wants to hope that I’m wrong, but I’ve been pushed so far that I have reached a point of not giving a damn anymore! I’m done worrying about what happens until I see that she finally grows up and does something about the situation instead of only complaining about it. Which is why I’ve reached the point of saying I’m Done!
I’m done being the one to make the effort to try and help when it is obvious the help is not wanted, at least not yet. I’m done making myself sick. I will always be there for her if she needs it, but I just need to be more conscious of my own health cause I’m not gonna do anyone any good if I’m dead and gone…
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